Dreamer C6

Chapter 6

Break-Up: Moving Out

“Julian! Please naman ayusin na natin ito.” tila pakiusap ni Benz kay Julian.

“Sorry Benz!” biting sagot ni Julian.

“Sorry for what?” tanong naman ni Benz na nagsimula nang makaramdam nang kakaibang kaba.

Nanatiling tahimik si Julian.

“Sorry for?” tanong ulit ni Benz kay Julian at naghihintay at umaasa sa isang positibong sagot.

“It’s over. It’s enough.” malungkot na wika ni Julian.

Nagulantang ang buong mundo ni Benz sa sinabing iyon ni Julian. Hindi niya inaasahan ang ganitong sitwasyon na sa hinagap ay hindi niya nagawang maisip.

“Hindi mo na ba ako mahal?” tanong ni Benz ka kita sa mga mata nito ang labis na sakit.

“Hindi sa ganuon Benz.” tila pagtutol ni Julian sa mga sinabing iyon ni Benz.

“Then, bakit mo ako iiwan? Bakit ka makikipaghiwalay?” wika ni Benz na nangingilid sa magkabilang mata ang mga luhang nais nang kumawala.

“May iba ka na?” tanong ulit ni Benz

“It’s not like that!” kontra ulit ni Julian.

“If not, then how come that you were breaking up with me?” agad na tanong ni Benz kay Julian na pinipilit magpakatatag at magpakapormal sa harapan ni Julian.

“I need some space Benz.” tila pakikiusap ni Julian.

“I will give you what you want but please, don’t break up with me.” pakiusap ni Benz.

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Create In Me A Clean Heart

Author: Jayson

Note: When I saw my pains in the mirror, God spoke to me through the life of David...

❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿ 

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me

                                                            Psalms 51:10

I was looking at myself at the mirror and noticed that I am no longer the same person I was before. My life became too complicated and everything seems too heavy. Problem came after another and I am no longer sure until when I can carry them on my back. My temper became so limited and I got angry at simple things. The smile that was usualy outlined on my cheeks is no longer there. The heart that before longed for Him is now filled with too much pain and sorrow. I have commited too much sin that I am already lying down in the muddy field with a bloody heart.

I took my tablet and open my soft bible in the book of II Samuel chapter 11. There I was reminded of the life of David, the man before the heart of God. He was a great king and the Lord loved him so dear. He feared the Lord, obeyed the Lord and worshiped the Lord. But this chapter did not tell me how great David was, but it told me how wicked he was. The whole chapter spoke of His wickedness, on how he slept with Batshebah the wife of Uriah. It spoke of his trickery in asking Uriah to go home and sleep with his wife in order to cover the truth that he impregnated Batshebah, but when Uriah did not go home because of his loyalty to Israel, David asked Joab to send Uriah in the frontline of the deadliest battle so he may be smitten and die. After Uriah’s death, David fetched Batshebah to her house and she became his wife. What David did displease the Lord. The Lord spoke to him through the prophet Nathan and he was punished. The Lord killed his son. What strikes me in this story was David’s reaction to the Lord’s punishment. He acknowledged his wickedness and asked for forgiveness. He fasted for 7 days and worshipped the Lord. In one of his psalms he said “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10) God heared his prayer and forgave him. He blessed David and Batshebah another son and called him Solomon.

After reading this, I was reminded that everybody has its wicked side. Everybody is suceptable to sin, even the greatest men of Israel. I was reminded that God is a loving God and He is always at our side reminding us of His great mercy. He is like a father to us, punishing us in order to correct our mistakes. In the book of Ezekiel chapter 18 verses 21 God said to the people of Israel “Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit.”. His mercy is indeed everlasting and he reminded me through his words.

Now I am praying that He too would renew a right spirit within me, that I may find my self again in His presence. Once more, I want to feel the great joy of my first love. I want to dance in his presence with overflowing joy in my heart. Lord, right now I am claiming your Living Promise. I know that like David, He is reminding me and is punishing me to correct my mistakes. Like David, He wants me to repent and come back in His presence. He knows what I did and He is willing forgive me because I am His son, He has chosen me and He gave me a promise.

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I'LL SEE YOU

SAM

“Sam? What does music looks like? Does it have a color? What is its color? Is it red, yellow or blue?” Tom asked me as we are sitting underneath a maple tree. He is helping himself with a sandwich that mama had prepared for us. I and Tom always went to the high hills of Crustville every weekend for picnic.

“It doesn’t have any color, Tom. You can just hear it, but you can’t see it. It’s invisible”, I answered, smiling as his eyebrows crossed in confusion. His eyes didn’t even blink when a butterfly is flying in front of his face.

“What’s invisible?”

“It’s something that you cannot see.”

“Like Jesus?”

I laughed. He crossed his eyebrows again and asked, “Why are you laughing, Sam?”

“Jesus isn’t invisible, Tom? He’s also like you. He has a body, a head, legs, arms …”

“But you said you can’t see Him.”

“Yes, because He lives up there, in heaven”, I answered, chewing my sandwich gently. He put his toy car on the blue, cottony mat and scratches his head. I could feel the grass prickling on my butt underneath the mat.

“What is heaven? Is it also a village like Crustville?” he asked again. He’s hand searching for the basket. I grabbed his hand and laid it to the basket’s handle. He smiled and took another sandwich from it.

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