I Miss My Father

Sunday, October 31, 2010

By: Jayson Patalinghug
email: king_sky92@yahoo.com

I was listening to a Sunday sermon; our pastor discussed the story of Abraham, on how he obeyed God, and fervently waited for God’s promise, a son. He waited for 25 years after God gave a promise when Abraham was still 75 years old. When Isaac was born, Abraham named him the joy of his life. I do not know why? But my tears just flowed freely on my cheeks like a river that cannot be stopped. I am always like that whenever I hear a story or see a movie about father and son. Maybe I just miss my father.

In my mind I saw my father so happy when I was born. How his tears flowed upon seeing me; how he held me tight on his arms; how he sang a sweet lullaby to comfort me; how he stayed late at night to watch over me, he never allowed even a single mosquito to touch my skin. When I was 5 years old, he was always in a hurry to go home and he always had something for me. Sometimes fried chicken from Jollibee, sometimes ice cream and sometimes toys. We played together, we wrestle and we had a lot of fun. I miss the warmth of his body when he embraced me tight; his lips when he kissed me on my cheeks and on my forehead. I miss his bedtime stories; he always waited for me to sleep first and he was the one who turned the lights off in my bed room. Every Sunday, he will accompany me in the farm; we played with kites; we run along the sides of the water irrigation. When I was seven, he was so excited to send me to school. He held my hands and said “You can do it son”. When I graduated elementary, he bought me new clothes and went to stage very proud. When I was in High school, my father was my best friend. He always asked me about my crushes, he always told me to date my childhood friend. I remember how happy he was when I had my first girl friend. When I was in college, our friendship grew deeper and deeper. He never failed in asking about anything new, my father was always updated. He cried with me when my heart was broke, he spent time with me when I was alone. My father, my best friend embraced and said “Congratulations son, I am very proud of you!” on the day I graduated college.

Then…I paused for while and I could’nt stop myself from crying, the world seems to turn upside down. I felt a pain too much to bear, loneliness too deep to fathom. I regretted the day I was born when I realized that everything did not happen. I miss my father who I never knew, my father who never share a single memory with me. My father who did not even knew I exist in this world. I miss him so bad!


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